International Association of Facilitators
1999 Annual Meeting
Williamsburg, Virginia, USA

January 14-17 1999

Thread #5: Conflict Resolution & Mediation

Dealing With Resistance and Building Participation

Ingrid Bens
Participative Dynamics
6944 W. Country Club Drive N.
Sarasota, Florida 34243 USA
888-358-8848
Fax 888-358-8840
bens@kudos.net

All trainers and consultants need strategies for dealing with those situations in which a group pushes back and resists their proposals. A group can resist for any number of reasons:

• The timing or location of the discussion may be poor
• The topic may be inappropriate or sensitive
• People may be anxious about additional change
• People may worry that they’ll have to take on more work
• They may feel that nothing will happen as a result of their efforts
• There may be a history of the organization not supporting employee efforts etc.

Sometimes this resistance jumps out in the open when an outspoken member gets up and vents their frustration. At other times it remains hidden, only expressed in people's negative body language and lack of participation.

When you encounter resistance you basically have two choices: there is a right and a wrong way to deal with it. Using the wrong way will make the resistance grow. Choosing the right approach will make it manageable.

Take a look at the following scenarios:

Resistance situation #1

Someone says: "The last time we had a two day retreat nothing happened afterwards. All the promises made were soon forgotten. People's projects went unsupported. These things are a waste of time!"

(Half the group mumbles in agreement)

Wrong thing to say:

Do you know what it is about this "wrong"approach that will make the conflict worse and deepens the resistance?

Right approach to handling resistance: Instead of defending yourself and trying to sell the resistant parties, you say:

A. "Explain why you feel that way? What happened in the past? How did it impact you?"

You listen to their concerns, then ask:

B. "What would make you a willing participant this time? Under what circumstances or with what assurances will you

consider taking up this challenge?"

Can you identify the major difference between this response and the first response?

Here’s another example:

Resistance situation #2

Someone says:

(Others nod in agreement)

Wrong thing to say:

(Once again, notice that this was a defensive response.)

Right approach for handling resistance: Instead of defending and selling, you say:

You listen, then ask:

Resistance situation #3

Someone says to you:

Wrong thing to say: You get defensive by saying:

Why does that response get people’s back up?

Right approach for handling resistance: Instead you say:

A. "I can understand that you might have reservations about my role in this day, since you don't know me. Can you elaborate a bit on what those specific concerns might be?"

You listen non-defensively, then say:

B. "I want to be an effective facilitator at this meeting. Can you tell me what would I could do to improve my personal effectiveness. What would make you leave here saying that I had made a valuable contribution?"

The Two Step Process for Managing Resistance

When managing resistance you always have two choices:

The right approach for handling resistance always consists of two steps:

Why the Second, Facilitative Approach Works

Taking a facilitative or questioning approach works because it acknowledges the concerns of the resistor while allowing them to vent their frustration and be heard. They are then consulted about what to do next. Since people don’t generally refuse to act on their own suggestions, most people will abandon their resistance and move forward.

In contrast, the first, directive approach is less effective because it involves telling people what to do. While you may get compliance, this approach tends to shatter buy-in. Telling responses also make you look defensive. The message is- "My way or the highway!"

The facilitative approach also works in part because the person who has surfaced the resistance will usually experience some degree of guilt over having interrupted. Soon after they speak up to say something confrontation and most will feel awkward. If you respond defensively they’ll feel justified in having taken you on. If you react with concern and understanding, they’ll feel foolish for having tackled you.

While responding to a challenge with a question may feel like you’re giving in, it actually allow you to manage the situation. If you respond by negating the dissent and dictating a solution, you’ll be adding to the conflict by giving the dissenter someone to argue with. The moment you " take the bait" and argue back the dissenter has won!

As soon as you ask that person for their suggestions and work with them to find a solution, you gain the upper hand. You come across as relaxed, flexible and receptive. Since there is no one arguing back, there’s no conflict. Because you’re showing concern for the interrupter, they feel foolish. At this point all but the toughest ‘devil’s advocate’ will go along with just about any suggestion that presents a way out without a loss of face.

Does this approach always work? No nothing works in every situation, but I always try this approach first to see if I can’t find my way out of the situation by collaborating with the resistor rather than doing battle with them.

To make full use of this approach when you encounter resistance, stop, take a deep breath and then come back with a question that makes your challenger do all of the work of finding a solution to the dilemma.

The good news is that this approach not only works for you, but feels like a ‘win’ for the other person as well.

Become Proactive in Finding Resistance

A key consulting strategy for dealing with resistance is not to wait until someone stands up and expresses their displeasure, but to flush it out proactively. There are of course some risks inherent in raising the question of resistance in a meeting where everyone seems to be going along with you, so you’ll always need to make this judgment carefully.

There is a great psychological advantage to surfacing the resistance. the most important is that the barriers are then out in the open where you can see them and work with them. The resistance is also out in the open right at the start and is therefore less likely to derail you at a later and possibly more sensitive time.

Here are some of the ways you can surface and deal with resistance proactively.

Technique #1 - Ask participants the universal buy-in question, which is: "What’s in it for you?" You can express this as:

"How will this initiative help you do your job better/more easily?"

"How might you personally benefit from this initiative?"

People are less likely to resist activities they have bought into.

Technique #2 - Ask people why they might not want to take part in the activity during assessment interviews by asking such questions as:

"Why might people be reluctant to take part in this activity?"

"Explain how they might be feeling?"

Knowing why people might be resistant, before the event takes place is a huge advantage. For example: If people are resistant because of lack of assurances from management that their ideas will really be listened to, you can line up appropriate support before the session.

Technique #3 - Ask people to identify the pros and cons of any initiative right during the opening warm-up exercise. This lets people know it’s ok to express concerns and negative thoughts. In fact you’re soliciting them.

"What excites you about his initiative; what’s the positive potential?

What concerns you about this initiative; what could go wrong?"

"What do you like about teams? What concerns you about teams?"

When using this approach, always ask the positive and negative questions together. Once the negatives are out in the open and you’ve recorded them and discussed each of them so they are clearly heard by the whole group, use the negatives to improve the program.

You do this by asking the group to identify what changes can be made to overcome each of the negative items. You are basically facilitating a problem solving exercise during which the members suggest ways to overcome their own barriers.

Technique #4 - Use a rating scale to identify where people are at the start of the program. Ask them to self rate:

"Identify where you are right now, on a scale of 1 to 5?"
 
 

Once people have rated themselves, ask them to each answer this question:

"What would it take to make you change your rating to a five?"

What would you have to get from this initiative?"

Write all suggestions on a flip chart and implement as many as you can on the spot. Apply problem solving to those barriers that are more complex.

Technique #5 - In any major Organizational Change initiative, there are always people who are anxious and threatened. When proposing change, use the stages of change chart to help surface resistance. Here’s the simple chart to post on a flipchart:
 
 

A non-threatening way to do this is by turning the flipchart sheet towards a wall and asking people to register where they are on the chart one at a time as they pass by. Then turn the chart around and ask the group to interpret the ratings. Once clear problem statements have been identified you can start to do some problem solving and planning to get around each of the issues. This can be done as a total group or in small sub-groups.

The Fundamental Approach

In all of the preceding techniques, the same principle is being used. The issues are being surfaced, listened to and heeded. The resistant people are then being asked to suggest strategies for overcoming their own issues.